Things that go bump in the night

View from the stern of our boat in St. Barths - good we didn't get hit by that!

Columbier (St. Barths) was a crowded little bay. Gustavia (the main anchorage) was untenable (defined as not permitting anything to remain upright on a table without suction). The boats were streaming into this secondary anchorage. We had parked L'ORIENT in the corner near the shore; a perfect spot for the evening................or so we thought.

At 4:00 PM, a British catamaran (oddly  named "Twenty Two") dropped anchor very near us. In fact, by our judgement.............far too close. I strode out to the bow of our boat and gave the British captain my icy stare - it usually results in the offender yielding and moving their boat. The etiquette is that whoever gets there first can make this decision. But, it was getting late, there were few spots left, and he was British. What does that have to do with it ? Everything.

You see, we have studied Brits as amateur cultural anthropologists in a sophisticated way...............Masterpiece Theater, Premier League Football, and, of course, Downton Abbey. We knew in our heart that Lord Grantham would hardly cause an accident at sea.............he's too proud, polite, competent. We let the close-quarters situation persist and didn't escalate (as we would of for a boat of any other nationality..............especially Russians or Americans)

So, we went to bed. At 5:00 AM, C-R-A-S-H !!!!! We spring out of bed and run outside (then remembered we needed clothes........oops). We quickly dressed and saw to my horror that the British catamaran had hit us. I reminded our cousins from across the pond that L'ORIENT had been here first, I regarded his anchoring as "hot dogging", and that I would stop by in the morning for his insurance information. Because we had been anchored first, it was indisputably his fault.

Morning came and guess what ? The British catamaran has disappeared..............gone..........fled the scene of an accident. We'd been sucker-punched by Lord Grantham !!!! We would have expected this of a sailor of a lesser ilk, but I wonder if Lord Nelson (late of Trafalgar) would have left the scene if HMS Victory had accidentally struck our boat. We think not !!!!

Anyway, there was no damage to our boat. But from now on I will not suppress my inner Tony Soprano even for Brits when they anchor too close.