S/V L'ORIENT

OK, so we're liking South Beach a lot. A stupid Tom moment...........I kept seeing "SOBE" on stores and shirts but thought it was referencing a Japanese restaurant chain (it means South Beach). Duh. We've spent zillions on the boat and are slowly making progress. Autopilot repairs underway, most of the lightning strike damage is repaired. The spare parts I was longing for in Bonaire are all now ordered. The boat is clean. All is good. Since we hadn't bought clothes for about a year and a half, we've been shopping. I can now go to sales presentations and look like an overweight businessman (hey, I was aiming realistically low). Kirstin has had a slower go of it on the shopping front.......she's found a dress to go to the ABC holiday party.........and 4 other "hottie" dresses. The typical couple doing dinner here consists of a guy in jeans and a tee shirt (usually saying something in English in a crazy font............"Interstate Transp

Last sunrise of trip - over Bimini We left Bimini early last Wednesday morning.........it was cold (kind of like football weather). We muscled L'ORIENT out of the channel and into deep water.......finally.........hand steering towards Miami (autopilot still gone). The wind was completely missing (again) so we were forced to motor most of the way. We knew our next destination was different by the number of AIS targets that appeared on our screen as we approached. Freighters, tankers, many cruise ships.........dodging them as we approached Miami Beach was necessary as the rules of the sea are similar to the rules that apply everywhere else (big things eat small things). Miami - Here we come... We called the Miami Beach Marina and they cheerfully directed us to our slip........B-13. Their instructions for getting there sounded suspiciously simple. "When you see the large motor yachts, you're almost there". As we zig-zagged deeper into the marina channel, we

Bimini Big Game Club - our marina We arrived in Bimini on Sunday morning, after another windy, wavy sail. Due to the distance (80 miles from Chub Cay Club- or as we affectionately called it, "Club Chub") and the necessity to arrive in the morning here, we left in the late afternoon and sailed all night. Bimini has no shortage of sharks We were worried about this part of the passage because of the depth of the water. We crossed a large bank of water that was only 10-20 ft. deep and prayed that we wouldn't hit a random coral head while going 8 knots. That would be game over for L'ORIENT as we need the bottom of our boat to help keep the water out. Once again, hand steering through big seas made us both tired. We dined throughout the night from our passage menu..........cookies, caffeine, Snickers bars.......basically anything to keep you awake and alert. Telling stupid jokes also keeps us awake.........."How many presidents have sexually inspired names

 So our sail to Chub Cay, Bahamas was fun (and typical). Wind at twice the forecasted speed (revenge of Clint Parkhurst, weather router for the trashing we gave him two blog posts ago?) and big waves. We averaged almost 7 knots, which is fast for a boat although comparable to the speed a sugared up kid can achieve on a skateboard in his driveway. Need some tile? The half built clubhouse here with pallets of tile sitting outside Gone are our 26 restaurants from Paradise Island. In fact, just about everything is gone. Chub Cay looks like a ghost town, mainly because it is. Some banks and developers got the idea around 2006 to develop a large marina and 50 or so cute million dollar houses catering to wealthy individuals who can fly their private planes to a private island and sportfish on their private boats (I am sure it seemed like a good idea at the time). Then came the crash and construction stopped (suddenly, it looks like). A lot of things half built and abandoned. Typical of

Life in the Big City... Mayaguana,  Long Island, Cat Island, Eleuthera............as we bash our way northwest in very contrary winds we've become accustomed to the southern and central Bahamas offering much the same thing.......a whole lotta nothing. No food, no people- zero. Some breathtaking scenery, but not much going on. To get to our new luxury accommodations in Miami (the Miami Beach Marina in South Beach), the next stop needed to be Nassau. We decided to splurge and stay in the Atlantis marina. The fact that our mast might not fit under the two bridges between us and cheaper marinas made the decision easier. We definitely were not ready for the sensory overload of Paradise Island. It started with our arrival. You have to radio the harbor control just to enter the bay. Why ? The channel through the bay is about 50 ft. wide because of the cruise ships. One misunderstanding with a mega-yacht going the other way and it's game over for L'ORIENT.  So that was quit

OK, the gloves are off- It's Tom and Kirstin vs. the Bahamas. Game on. We have found the Bahamas to be singularly difficult to date. Storms ?.........check. Wind out of whatever direction you need to sail ? Check. Super shallow water, not suited to a deep draft boat ? Check. Absolutely ZERO protected anchorages ? Check. Oh, and the autopilot is shot due to the lightning strike. Hand steering the whole way. Like driving an 18-wheeler with no power steering. 21 Tons of boat in big waves with just your biceps and white knuckles. Of course no protected anchorages.................15 degrees roll throughout the night........crash, bang, creak............gosh, we're really glad Dr. Prescription in Bethesda gave us those amazing sleeping pills. Snooooooor. It's also off season..........we find a restaurant (finally). Tom- "You guys open for dinner ?" Bahamian lady- "Yes, come right in." Tom- "Super. Can I see a menu ?" Bahamian lady- "I

As we mentioned in our last post, we subscribe to a professional weather router service..........let's call him Clint Parkhurst. As cruisers, you rely on this person for news of hurricanes, tropical storms, etc. The weather is a much bigger deal out here, where a mistake on the high seas can literally be fatal. Anyway, Clint sends out his blast e-mail on Thursday commenting that there "would be a few scattered squalls" in our area. We've learned to interpret "Clintspeak". Scattered squalls ? That usually means that we might get a bit wet, but no big deal. We leave Mayaguana on Friday morning for a routine 130 mile overnight to Long Island (Bahamas). Shortly after we left, we could see there was definitely something different about the clouds. Slate gray skies and increasing winds greeted us........then, flash.....bang..........the rumble of thunder. Clint is sitting in his leather easy chair, probably using that magic 8-ball thing to make more predictions.

Hey, amigo.........thanks for the wine. Here's a c-note (Dominican Pesos). "Gracias Senor". Have Tom and Kirstin lost their minds ? Of course not. We just tipped the waiter $4.50 at the local exchange rate. Still cheap as ever. While Samana (our first stop in the DR) was very upscale, the rest of it is somewhat second/third world. Everybody you meet asks for "a donation". Even the Navy. Can you imagine the US Coast Guard doing shake-downs in the Chesapeake ? Anyway, today we are off the Mayaguana, in the Bahamas. We're getting closer to our ultimate goal, Miami Beach. We've stocked up on all the essentials.........Doritos, wine, and salsa. Cookies (check).........mouthwash (check)..........granola (check). Ready to go. My advice to people coming to the DR ? Prepare for the trip just like you would if you're going to a strip club.........plenty of small bills. This coming phase of our trip should provide more excitement in that the water gets shal

Ah, sailing. We left Bonaire misty-eyed...........we'd been there for 3 months and done almost 100 scuba dives. We checked out our boat (which obviously had stood still for all that time). All systems working. We cast off our mooring lines on Wednesday and proceeded north. For the geographically challenged, Bonaire is right off the coast of Venezuela, at the top of South America. Our destination being the north coast of the Dominican Republic, this would involve nearly 500 miles of sailing......crossing the Caribbean Sea south to north non-stop. Oh, Oh - Storm over the Caribbean Sea Right away, big wind.......out of the east too, so we could sail all the way to the Mona Passage (the passage between Hispaniola and Puerto Rico). While the boat performed perfectly, we had our usual troubles sleeping. With only two people, you're on watch every 3 or 4 hours. Whoever isn't on watch sleeps in the cockpit. With wind roaring, waves hissing, the VHF crackling.........it can be

We're busily getting the boat ready for the trip North, to the Dominican Republic. We'll be making the first jump on a trip that will end at the Miami Beach Marina and our old/new life. We've been in Bonaire for 3 months waiting out hurricane season. To the uninitiated, there's a huge swath of ocean between Cape Hatteras and the Southern Caribbean where hurricanes roar by between July and November. Boat insurance companies specify that if any damage happens to you in hurricane season inside "the hurricane box", you are not covered. Gulp. So, we've been sitting here in Bonaire.......just slightly outside "the hurricane box". Soon, we make the mad 400 mile dash almost due North to "the DR". We've got some friends who left early and some who have ignored the hurricane box altogether. Hurricane Sandy (the current storm as of this writing) looks like it will rage through the very Bahamian islands we plan on visiting in a few weeks with

Rain, what rain? Kirstin and I have only 10 more days here in Bonaire before the big journey north (we don't talk about it because Kirstin gets misty eyed).............so we are trying to go diving every day. For that reason, we sometimes allow our optimism to cloud our judgement. Kirstin- "Want to dive this morning?". Tom- "OK- I'm just a little worried about that black smudge in the sky over there" Kirstin- "Umm". Sad, sad puppy dog eyes start to form. I've got to do something or scuba, happy hour, and ultimately dinner would be affected. Tom- "Let's go, what are the chances it's another squall, right ?" We dinghy over to our favorite spot (18 palms). There are huge 8 ft. tarpin, sea turtles, spotted rays, manta rays, porcupine puffer fish.........a huge variety of the weirdest sea creatures you've ever seen. And the coral is spectacular. As we're cruising around about half way through our dive, Kirst

Probably hotter than Indonesia While we realize from Skype and the news that it's now sweater weather in much of the US, we're having a heat wave down here in Bonaire, off the coast of Venezuela. How hot is it ? There has been absolutely no wind, and combined with temperatures in the mid-90s, let's just say it is sticky. To cool off we've been doing 2 dives each day. When we have to be on the boat, Kirstin and I take turns jumping into the ocean and bobbing around for a while until the relief of sunset comes......usually around 6:30 PM. While Kirstin makes dinner (when we eat on the boat), I usually make our happy hour snack...........I like it to be a surprise............."Surprise !!!! Yet another cheap merlot with some chips". You get the picture. Anyway, yesterday I emerged from the galley, walked up into the cockpit and made Kirstin a tempting offer......... Tom- "Would you like any salted nuts ?" Kirstin- "Sure. But I th

You probably live in a house..........with a driveway, a yard, a sidewalk.........etc. Now imagine for a minute that everything you see outside your house that is green........is blue.........as in blue, wet, and deep. That's the situation we find ourselves in living on a boat. The obvious difference for us is that in DC, if you drop your wallet, keys, or phone on the lawn........pick it up. Do that in our watery world and it's a big problem. Our dinghy is our car. We ferry groceries, boat part, supplies, and fuel to our boat in this way. High winds ? Big waves ? Still have to do it. No garage door opener here. We had been having a run of good luck since we left the US in November of last year. Nothing irreplaceable had gone overboard; a few screwdrivers........a ratchet........a half-used propane bottle. Nothing too important until yesterday. I'm downstairs unloading our recent grocery haul. Kirstin is on the stern of the boat securing the dinghy. "OH SHIT

You meet all kinds of people while cruising. Most are wonderful..........some not so much..........and the occasional few "situations" you encounter leave you dumb-struck. Meet the Hansons. They live on the boat moored next to us here in Bonaire. Phil Hanson is 57, fairly fit, and quite active. His wife- let's call her Audrey- is 73. All you need to know about Audrey is that she drops the F-bomb a lot, and has been described by others as vulgar, boorish, abhorrent, classless, tasteless, and trampy (OK, she wears a string bikini at 73). You can't live 25 ft away from people without talking occasionally.......so we got to know them. What a trip. Here's the deal (I feel like Kathy Griffin taking you inside a B-list Hollywood event !!!) In 2002, Phil was 47 and was basically a completely broke private jet pilot. Audrey, then only 63 hires him to fly her to Florida. She becomes quite smitten with the dashing (yet broke) Phil.  She's loaded because her much,

Karel's - our internet hotspot We've been away from the US since last December........plenty of time to perfect this neglected science known as leisure. Despite our whiz-bang boat (clothes washer, dish washer, microwave, oven, three refrigerators, huge TV monitor.......you get the picture), a singular problem has been dogging us- that being consistent access to the internet. Bonairians don't seem to need wifi to do whatever it is that they do around here. We've tried pre-paid cards, pay sites, everything. The result is usually that Colbert streams very slowly, pausing in mid quip. John Stewart (our other internet vice) also stops, usually during his Woody Allen-like diatribes. To make matters worse, Sirius satellite radio has hiccups as well.............it's hard to enjoy a sunset and Chardonnay while XM-Chill (Channel 53 for you subscribers) is fading in and out. Karel's - our boat is in distance So last night, we go to happy hour at Karel's Bea

So it is almost October and we have been in Bonaire for slightly over two months. Haven't raised sail or used the main engine for 9 weeks. Some might ask, what the heck do you do everyday sitting in the same place? In the words of the original beach slackers from that fitting sequel to Masterpiece Theatre (Jersey Shore),  - Scuba, Tan, Laundry (or oil change, groceries, vacuum). Here is our typical day -  Our dock at Eden Beach - exchanging tanks 1) Breakfast on boat (usually yoghurt for K, granola for T) 2) Jump in the dinghy and drive over to one of 100 local dive sites- typical dive is 90 minutes underwater.......eels, rays, huge tarpons, weird puffer fish, no sharks yet but it's early. 3) Lunch at Eden Beach (while we exchange tanks at WannaDive and outgas....no, not farting....if your second dive is too soon after your first, unfortunate complications arise such as death from nitrogen poisoning) 4) Back in the dingy to scuba dive at a different site- another

So the other day I'm sitting in the cockpit of our yacht..........a perfect afternoon. The sky is powder blue, just a few puffy white clouds passing by. I've got my Kindle,  a virtually unlimited supply of cold Coke Zero.......even the Dorito food group is "representing" in a bowl next to me. So how could the day get any better ? BZZZZZZZZZZ........I see a small dinghy approaching driven by a bikini-clad twenty-something heading directly for me. I continue reading my book; I'm pretty sure I checked the crew list before we left and this chickie definitely doesn't belong on L'ORIENT. BZZZZZZZZZZ........Now this dinghy is much closer, still heading my way. Hmmm. She must not know how to steer an outboard or something. I'm thinking........sweetie-pie, if you hit my boat with your half-assed dinghy there's going to be big trouble. BZZZZZZZZZZ.......She arrives. Strange chick- "Hello, I am Patrithia........fromma Spain" Kirstin, who w

You don't normally think of Grandma and Grandpa as felons. Poppy and Ami in the big house ? Preposterous............unless your grandparents cruise the Caribbean. Down here, Granny is dirty. Her "sheet" should be ten miles long. She should be doing the perp walk with her perp walker.........Why ? These geriatric cruisers all deal in stolen movies and books. They think it's harmless. Granny - "Kirstin- don't buy that book on Kindle.......I have a CD with 7000 pirated books on it.........I'll loan it to you". Kirstin- "Granny, are you sure ? This doesn't sound legal". Granny- "It's fine........everyone's doing it". Fine, just like the LSD granny did during the "Summer of Love" back in the 60s, no doubt. It's not small potatoes......7000 books multiplied by even $15 per book is over $100,000 in stolen goods, by my math. Based on my years of experience watching Law and Order re-runs on TNT, that

Kirstin and I are among the youngest cruisers; our "friends" here in Bonaire are all retired and in their 60s and 70s. When we were invited to Happy Hour (which is oddly neither), we steeled ourselves beforehand to be knowledgable about issues effecting senior citizens. "Remember, they probably hate Obama and like guns and healthcare". As we tend to get immature when we drink- and trend towards silly..........we put on our oldest gameface and proceeded to the appointed rendezvous point. "Jane thinks she has great boobs". What? I haven't even ordered a cocktail yet, but my senses are telling me a 65 year old woman just trashed a 68 year old behind her back. "We avoid eating with the McArthurs; they just don't know how to act in public. Everyone hates the McArthurs". You get the picture.........happy hour is chock full of what the kids call "frenemies" all attacking each other behind their backs..........it's New Providence

I'm floating with my wife in the Caribbean sea. We're tethered rather tenuously to our dinghy, which is tied to a mooring ball off Bonaire. We're both stylishly dressed in neoprene with huge tanks strapped to us; flippers and masks complete the ensemble...........above us, sky blue with accents of puffy white clouds. As our heads are the only thing above the water, waves wash over us as we prepare.  Our yacht is two miles away is in the distance. Bonaire's downtown just beyond that. Three, two, one, BFFFFFFFFFFFF. We let all the air out of our BCDs (buoyancy control devices; basically vests filled with air). We both sink like a sack of batteries into the ocean........and into another world. Only bubbles mark where we were on the ocean. Under the water, everything gets weird...........a spotted ray swims gracefully past us. Directly underneath us (like 100 ft) is the bottom. It seems like you jumped off a building but are falling in slow motion. The coral heads are e

Ouch, that hurt... We're still moored in Bonaire amid other equally unemployed people looking for ways to make 2 hours of "must do's" fill our 16 hour per day leisure calendar. Our play-dates are often group dives. The neighbors are much more experienced in both diving and where to go in Bonaire, so we've been tagging along with them at times. Yesterday, we had a real treat. We got to see a fish homicide. Richard, the neighbor, is a 68 year old Brit who is actually quite concerned with the health of the reef. An invasive species (the lion fish) has somehow been introduced to the Caribbean and with no natural enemies, is squeezing out other rare fish. In response, Bonaire has allowed divers who complete a course to kill the fish with a hand spear. It's not as easy as it sounds. These fish have 5 inch poisonous spines and hide deep within coral heads. Yesterday, we dove with Richard on one of his "hunts". Not ten minutes into the dive, he had l

...In Sickness and in Health?? Scuba diving everyday has forced us to learn quickly. The ocean is filled with lots of interesting coral and fish.........and some things that appear to be about half of each. Diving involves never straying to far from your "buddy" for safety reasons. You can share air, untangle each other, and generally keep your buddy out of trouble. The difficulty underwater is the obvious one........communication. Everything is done with hand signals. Communicating about things like your remaining air supply, cramps, or general feeling of well-being is critical. More fun than that is pointing out and "discussing" the fish you see. Hand signals are how it all happens. Above the surface, Kirstin making a fist over her stomach means "my pizza didn't agree with me". Under water ? She wants to know how much air I have. In the supermarket, if my wife contorts her hand just so..........it means she's "too legit to quit"

Now that we don't have to worry about what to do with that $2,000 we had lying around- just getting in the way- (scuba equipment), we're spending an average of 90 minutes per day under water. It's an odd paradox...........we spend 2 hours per day on preventive maintenance so our boat won't go to the bottom.........then we jump off the back with 12 lbs of lead and 60 lbs of equipment tied to us.......and go to the bottom anyway. Kirstin has been like an over-sugared child on Christmas day. I start to wake up and have the impression that someone is staring at me. I open my eyes. Someone is staring at me. "Are you awake yet ?" "Uh, yeah- or I'm dreaming that I married this hyperactive scuba diver". She can't get enough of the coral reefs and aquatic life that surround us here. I have to confess- it's pretty cool to swim right next to a 150 pound tarpon or a manta ray. Kirstin's new friend In terms of our styles underwater,

The other night at dinner with our geriatric cohort, the talk of the table was the Coast Guard. Everyone told their horror stories involving their boats being torn apart by the USCG and the coast guards of the small banana republics they've visits. I proudly (and prematurely) announced that L'ORIENT had never been boarded by the Coast Guard........even despite close encounters with a US attack submarine and a Dutch guided missile frigate. The very next morning, as I'm sitting in the cockpit...........knock, knock, knock. I look over. The Dutch Coast Guard is here !!! Four guys complete with bad-ass uniforms, guns, everything. Dutch Coast Guard- "Sir, may we come aboard ?" Tom- "I'm not sure this is truly a multiple choice question. Can I go downstairs to make sure my wife has clothes on ?" Dutch Coast Guard- (turning beet-red) "OK" Tom- "OK- she's got clothes on. It's OK to come aboard". Tom- "Aren'

Help...........we've fallen and we can't get up...........(or out, as the case may be). Our cool German posse has left us. Joern and Nata...........(back in Hamburg). Alex and Addie............on their way to Panama. What's left for us ? Our retirement home friends. Old folks love structure, routines, and hierarchy. "Oh, Tom and Kirstin............we didn't see you at happy hour", said in a accusatory fashion..............made us feel like we skipped Algebra in high school. Thinking of missing pizza night ? Think again. "We assume we'll see you at the restaurant.........maybe a little rummy cube after ?" Ahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!! The regimentation is absurd. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we have to be at the bar for Happy Hour. It's at 5:30.............don't be late !!!! It's not even fun because it's compulsory. I feel like a guy holding a cup in the fertility clinic waiting room..........."Glad to see you're on ti

Us with Carlos - Scuba instructor extraordinaire We finally graduated from our scuba course and are now officially "baby scuba fish" as the snarky Dutch teacher called us. The designation is officially "open water scuba certified". I have to say it was fun, with a few somewhat scary moments..........like when you have to take off your mask while deep underwater;  count to 30, then put it back on. Our teacher (Carlos from Madrid) was great, although somewhat of a cliche. If you've ever seen a movie where the hot wife runs off with the dive instructor, this is that dive instructor. Great accent......super good looking........and so sensitive and in touch with emotions that he cries at movies. We had him over for dinner and it became apparent that his dance card is generally quite full, so to speak. Commando Kleman We descended to 18 meters (60 feet) and saw some cool fish and coral during the final dive. Then we practiced our rapid, airless ascent (thi

Kirstin and I share one really odd comedy-related tick...............we absolutely die laughing when something scares children. Remember the Borat scene when the a bear roars through the ice cream truck window and scares the kids ? Truly a comedic masterpiece. Anyway, we experienced a similar moment yesterday. We're are taking scuba training to get our Open Water certification .........we've just waded into the ocean among 10 year old girls swimming in the same area...............suddenly.............huge dorsal fins appear right between these two Dutch tweens............ahhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!     Young kids screaming like crazy.........Tom stepping behind Kirstin ever so cautiously.............But it's not a shark........it's a huge manta ray. We quickly submerge and watch this thing circle the area. It's not dangerous because they don't eat tweens..........only beer cans, plankton, and other bottom dwelling stuff like that. Anyway, it was totally cool. Th

Yes, we have alot of time on our hands. Watch the video.....

Kirstin and I are not "joiners". Some people like to be part of things.........fraternities, service organizations (Elks, Rotary, etc.), even sports leagues. We look at affiliations with great suspicion......."what does the United Way REALLY want from me ?" Along these same lines, groups try to attract members by creating a brand.........a way everyone acts or looks to attract members. Take bikers, for instance. Leather clothes, chrome german army helmets, tattoos...................their brand is quite specific and attracts a very diverse group of white, midwestern, 50-60 year old males and (I think, females). Your rap sheet determines position in the hierarchy and you can ride any bike you want as long as it says Harley Davidson on the side. Surfers are the same way, although they've got better clothes, a younger look............oh, and better looking women involved. They walk around and act like they don't care about anything (because they don't