As we descended the steps of our airplane in Alice Springs I noticed that the passengers in front of me were all furiously fanning their faces. Must be hot out there I thought. That was until the first fly landed on my face. My next thought was Oh shit - that was as fly 10 through 20 proceeded to join it. If you remember only one thing from the 15 years we have spent writing this blog remember this: Bring a freaking fly head net to the Outback. Seriously.
With plans to go hiking the next day, we diverted the rental car to every store still open on a Saturday at 5pm. Kmart (yes, still a thing here), Bunnings (the Australian Home Depot), Woolworths (the grocery store) and the chemist (the Aussie term for pharmacy). At Bunnings we had a moment of hope when they directed us to aisle 24 only to find that the fly net bin was completely empty. The store clerk told us his inventory system read "107 in stock". Unfortunately neither the clerk nor we could find this elusive stock. He did helpfully tell Tom "oh son, you haven't seen any flies yet". Gulp. We settled for buying scarves in the women's accessories section of Kmart (which is a bit lacking) and Tom was particularly excited about his selection. We also bought fly patches (which you stick on your clothes), fly bracelets and fly spray. We toyed with buying a badminton set simply because it came in a mesh bag that we thought might fit over our heads. Yes, the flies were that bad.
Did we join a para-military cult ? No, this is our improvised anti-fly attire
While out we decided to stock up on some beverages as the Outback is a hot bare place lacking in liquor stores. It seems that flies were not our only hassle today. We were stopped outside the local BWS liquor store (helpfully stands for Beer, Wine and Spirits just in case there was any doubt) by a local police officer wearing a body camera. He proceeded to ask for our identification and ask exactly what was our intention in going into the liquor store. At the slight risk of being flippant we responded that we intended to buy some liquor (actually wine). He filmed our response to the odd question of "Do you plan to consume this liquor?" ("yes, officer") and then "Where do you intend to consume this wine?" Yikes - maybe Coke Zero is fine. We get inside only to discover that you can buy a maximum of six bottles of wine per day and this is monitored by a system that every shop uses so you can't game the system by driving across town. And there are only certain days that you can buy anything. It turns out that there is some method to this madness. The Northern Territory is a state in Australia that has a very high population compared to other states of Aboriginal peoples. Many of the Aboriginal towns are dry and there have been problems with bootlegging liquor into these areas as well as the normal problems coming out of extreme alcohol consumption namely: violence and domestic abuse. So there you have it - Welcome to the Outback.
Even the mobility device guy gets the 3rd degree
With this slightly bumpy start we settled down to sightseeing. The first thing we noticed is that the Outback is extremely green. This is not at all what we expected and is somewhat unusual. The area had experienced high levels of rain and some fairly severe flooding over the last week. Hence the green and the flies.
Did not expect these shades of green
Looks like Arizona
It also made for some exciting driving as we headed out to the West MacDonnell National Park. We had a small SUV which under normal conditions would be fine for the area of the park we were exploring; across paved roads. What we hadn't expected was that while these roads were open they were flooded in certain spots. Bandanas on and with a cloud of fly spray surrounding us we set off. This park is quite stunning - you have hikes like the Ormiston Gorge, natural swimming holes like Ellery Creek Big Hole and the Ochre Pits which is an area that Aboriginals used to gather ochre used in their traditional ceremonies. We happily hiked and swam the day away.
Ormiston Gorge
Some no joke hiking paths
Not ready for 50 degree mountain water (yet)
Fear of falling reflex was severely tested in the Outback
Our first swimming hole; no crocs/sharks to worry about
Amazing geological formations in the ochre pits
As we drove back to Alice Springs in the afternoon on the same roads we had traversed in the morning we both commented that the flooded areas seemed... a bit more flooded. In a concerning way. We reached one stretch and recognized that the Ute (Australian for bad ass offroading 4x4 truck) we had just exchanged pleasantries with was parked on the other side of a very flooded stretch of road. Tom got out to walk across and judge how deep it was. Our new Australian friend walked out and they met in the middle of the now river where he said that they were waiting for us as they had ropes and a winch to pull us out if we got stuck. Gulp, glad we got the full insurance on the rental car. There was really no alternative because there was no other way back to our hotel. Embracing the Outback mentality Tom gunned our Rav 4 and we made it across happily waving to our new friends.
Gotta drive across this; the car in the distance is my stand-by rescuer
And the video version:
The woman in the Ute worriedly told us that there was a river running out of the engine bay of our car. They proceeded to wait for us on every slightly dodgy looking river crossing. We still aren't sure why the river level increased in the afternoon with no new rain but there were banks of sand that definitely weren't there in the morning.
Rapid flow of water running over the road; 20 km per hour ended up being the optimal speed
It is now Monday morning and we are parked in front of a camping store that we are told may have fly head nets. The bandanas worked for one day but hiking with a mouth covering in 90 degree temperatures was not the most comfortable and gave us a bad flashback of COVID masks. Plus the flies were fairly talented at flying into your eyes under your sunglasses. SCORE - we walked out with four different nets and some new anti-fly cream and headed out for our 3.5 hour drive to Kings Canyon.
Stunning vistas all around at Kings Canyon
And another success. With stories floating around the internet regarding how you can actually die in the Outback if your car breaks down and you are unprepared, we brought our Starlink Mini and a portable Chinese lithium mini-battery for it. Unbelievably, it worked perfectly. We enjoyed 5-G internet for navigation the whole time. Maybe elderly people aren't completely clueless with technology!
Our not too shabby bath-tub; and no more info. What happens in the Outback, stays in the Outback !
Kings Canyon is known for its Rim Walk and sunsets. We are really out in the middle of nowhere - one resort with one restaurant. The fly nets had proved to be a major improvement even in getting in an out of the car so we decided to set off for the sunset bar. It is not easy to describe the challenge that is having a happy hour glass of wine while wearing a fly net - only the most determined drinkers can make it through!
Kirstin in a good moment; seconds later she spilled the wine as it caught in her bug net
My technique; quick guzzle
Yummy camel burger - I'll be on the back of a luckier one tomorrow
The next day we were up early because it is going to be 95 degrees by noon and this is a four mile hike that starts with 500 very steep rock steps.
Rough start to the morning
I should still be in bed
This hike is an Instagram influencers dream - stunning vistas, a natural pool rightly called The Garden of Eden, otherworldly rocks and sheer cliff drops.
Moderate hike, huh ?
You can see for miles, here
It is called The Garden of Eden for a good reason
Can't see the bottom of the crevasse; fall and it's game over
I hated seeing this because my wife would no doubt want to walk over it
More "moderate" hiking opportunities; someone's sick joke
It was while relaxing on one of the several memorial benches that we started to get a bad feeling about these cliffs. The warning signs are everywhere but what is even more effective are the plaques on the benches which remember the various 14 or 23 year old who died at this spot. Makes you walk a bit more carefully.
This gets your attention
Up the steps, down the steps
When you see this, can a "memorial bench" be far off ?
On to the Big Kahuna of the Outback - Uluru or perhaps known to you as Ayer's Rock. We have all seen the pictures of this big rock in the middle of Australia. We had travelled a long way to see this thing - one three hour flight and a five hour drive from Alice Springs (plus a major financial investment in anti-fly technology). This place better deliver. Wow, did it ever.
Looks like a work of Gaudi
Our first view is from the back of a once wild camel. Fun fact that I feel fairly certain none of our readers know: Australia has between 500,000 and a million wild camels. Yes, this is not a very precise number but when the population doubles every 8-10 years that is alot of camels to count so give them a break.
Buff our camel- we called him "Diablo"
Fly protection went back on lickity split after this photo
Baby camel; incredibly cute
While camels to us are a unique way to watch the sunset, to many Australians they are just a big nuisance which is why Australians have annual camel culls. Aussies, not known to be particularly subtle, go up in helicopters and shoot camels in the Outback in some cases by the thousands. The carcass stays where it drops which maybe has contributed to our little fly problem. They are also rounded up and sold to Middle East buyers and also turned into surprisingly tasty meat - don't scoff at a camel burger until you have tasted one. Not bad.
What can you say ? This is the weirdest geological feature we've ever seen
We only have three days here and there is a surprising amount to see and the scale is truly massive. First hike - just an eight mile jaunt around the base of Uluru. Another 95 degree day is on offer so we head out early. This is where we first get a sense of the nuances of Uluru - it is not a monolithic rock; rather it has the craziest waves, crevices and outcroppings. I took probably 100 pictures on this hike and would have taken more but many parts of Uluru are off-limits to photography due to the traditional laws of the Aboriginal communities. Signs around the walk tell you which places are off-limits. Much of the walk was spent with our mouths hanging open (not a maneuver to attempt without a fly net over your face).
Close up Uluru
Aboriginals used these mini-caves for ceremonies
After the hike we retreat to the hotel room and a quick dip in the pool (while wearing a fly net - no joke). We are off to sunset - while it isn't high season yet (that happens in June/July) the car park with the best views is filled with cars, campers and tour buses. There is a moment when the sun's setting rays make the rock absolutely glow. The atmosphere is party-like and quite international as tour buses packed with Americans, French and Scandinavians seem to appear out of nowhere.
The moment we are all waiting for - sunset over Uluru
While Uluru gets most of the attention, Kata Tjuta is equally amazing. While Uluru is a single monolith, Kata Tjuta is a series of 36 massive domes with a series of deep valleys and gorges between them. The most famous is the Valley of the Winds and it luckily has a five mile hike. Another 95 degree day loomed ahead of us so getting an early start was important.
Kata Tjuta - Another day, another challenging hike
As long as you are starting early how about going to see the sunrise? Tom loves it when I add on these little extras and no more so then when the alarm went off at 5:30am. Soon we are following the tail lights of other overly enthusiastic tourists to the official spot to see the sunrise. As sailors on a passage we do see more sunrises than most but seeing the early rays begin to illuminate Uluru was special. Turns out that flies are early risers too - first rays, first flies.
Another pre-sunrise start
It takes extreme mental discipline not to run screaming to the airport for an earlier departure
All of this early morning activity meant that we started the hike just after 8am. In hot conditions the park actually prohibits starting the walk after 11am and we quickly saw why. Straddling boulders, scampering up rocky outcroppings like a crab and watching your step is the name of the game here.
Today's challenge
One step away from a really big problem
The experience of doing a strenuous hike while watching flies crawling up your net in front of your face is not one we will soon forget. The pictures don't convey the sheer size of the domes and the dramatic valleys between the domes but we hope you enjoy them none the less.
Let me guess? Only way out is up.
The walls glow around you - or maybe my heat stroke is kicking in
Fly selfie
Wonder if they are all related to each other
No doubt where to walk, at least
Our time in the Outback is over but we did bring back a few souvenirs which is quite unlike us. Two small size paintings and a bowl all done by local Aboriginal peoples. We wanted to keep a bit of this place physically with us - definitely magical.
