License and registration, sir

The very "black ops" looking inflatable patrol boat had passed us slowly going the other way...........all ten coast guard guys looking right at us. Then, they did a quick power turn and were along side L'ORIENT in one hot second.

Kirstin and I had just crossed the Mona Passage and were tired and relatively beaten up by 24 hours of squalls, big wind, and breaking waves.

Tom- "Anything I can do for you guys ?"

Coast Guard- "Sir, are you American citizens ? Have you been boarded by the USCG recently ? And do you have any weapons ?"

Tom "No, no, and no"

Coast Guard- "Mind if we inspect your boat ?"

Funny, that this was delivered as a question but clearly wasn't. With 10 guys in black ops outfits with semi automatic guns looking at us, I graciously invited them on board. Not surprisingly, they didn't offer to take off their shoes which is standard etiquette among cruisers.

As they began asking for documentation, I recalled the Jay Z song where he tells the police when pulled over "I aint steppin out of shi_, all my paper's legit". I'm sure this encounter would have taken a sour turn had I gone down that vector.

L'ORIENT is kept squeaky clean (especially everything mechanical) and they were amazed at the level of our obsessive compulsive disorder relative to the boat's system, safety equipment, etc. We had things on the boat that they didn't have on their frigate.

Anyway, they quickly left and cited us (no fine) for having 1 of our 30 flares two months past it's expiration and a missing garbage dumping placard..................I actually disputed the latter.

Coast Guard- "What would you do if you spilled oil ?"

Tom (incredulous)- "How could that happen......I don't spill things"

Coast Guard- "I mean, what if something goes wrong with the engine"

Tom (still incredulous)- "The engine's fine. We maintain everything ourselves"

Coast Guard- "OK, forget it".