Hurry-curry

This was what I was afraid of when planning this trip. We're in Bequia.  One evening.......pain in my right side. Go on WebMD........is it lower abdomen or upper hip ? Why? I get to choose between appendicitis and cancer of the gall bladder, intestines, or liver. It's kind of in between. Hmm. This island has a small "hospital". The corregated tin roof doesn't completely cover the interior of the building. Air conditioning, I guess. There's a Rasta house a few blocks away.

'nuff said

Now I'm getting scared. Burst appendix down here and you have a big problem. Anyway, I let the pain get worse for a few days. My mind (which isn't occupied by much, I'll admit) is racing. Hopefully it's a problem with some part of me where there's a spare. Do I have 2 kidneys or is it 2 livers. Whatever.

I go to this "hospital" as a last resort. (we can't really sail anywhere at this point). This nurse asks if I want her to examine me or "the doctor". Trick question ? "Uh, don't take this the wrong way, but do you have any training ?" Anyway.........she tell me the doctor is back in the orange house and points outside. I walk behind the "hospital".........basically through a landfill. Walk, walk, walk............knock on the door of the orange house. This Indian woman answers with three screaming kids all around her, all wearing more bling than Jay-Z. "Are you the doctor ?" No, no.........Dr. Babu is not here. "Please, please........sit down.........Dr. Babu come soon".

Bequia Outpatient clinic...

Wait, wait, wait..........up the stairs comes Dr. Babu. We go into his "office". Junk everywhere, totally unsanitary.........death isn't looking so bad right now. He, of course, has no actual diagnostic equipment. Who needs that shit when the Dog God can probably diagnose me faster ? Or will he use the magic 8-ball? He pushes down on my stomach a few times and announces I have gastro-enteritis............too much spicy food (definitely) and too much stress (not likely).  He cautions "remember...........no hurry-curry". What? "No hurry (meaning stress)..........and no curry (spicy food). OK. Got it.

He then gives me 20 year old drug samples that he pulls off a filing cabinet and sheepishly cleans with his fingers. "How much do I owe you ?"................"$150 EC with the pills (which he got for free). This is $60 US but walking through medical waste should have gotten me a discount. Whatever. Anyway, to the Dog God's credit (and Dr. Babu), I guess he got the diagnosis correct. I feel great now. Don't throw away your old Maalox !!!