What's in a name..........(a lot)

Boats are like people...........as an aspiration, we try not to judge a book by it's cover but come on..........we do. Walk up to a guy who says his name is Spock.........."my parents were big Trekkies" and you quite naturally make some assumptions about the gene pool. I always wondered as a kid how these strange-named people would fill out standardized tests like the SATs..............Last name: N/A, First name: Madonna ?

Anyway, it's both fun and efficient to pre-judge people because it's just too big a hassle to get to know everyone and give them a chance. In our world in the Caribbean, boat names are how we decide who we want to meet. I'm moored next to Hydrophile V. He's French, and actually has a nice boat. But I don't want to meet him. I can just imagine the conversation:

Insert French accent....."Yes- Hydro means water, phile means love...........I am, how you say, lover of water". My response might be.........."I have an idea for your next boat..........Cogito, ergo dumb-ass"

My favorite name of all time I've actually seen twice, both in the Chesapeake. "Seagasm". I didn't see the owners, but I'm sure childhood obesity is rampant in his family and he doesn't own any shirts with sleeves or without a Jack Daniels logo.

A lot of guys chose women's names. We've seen Jeanettes, Mary Jeans, etc. You want to believe it's his mother but we all know how women get their names on boats............what a great thing for your Match.com profile, ladies............."Hi, my name's Anne, I'm 35........I like to have fun.........don't want to brag, but 35 sailing yachts are named after me".

Boat owners seem to jump to name their boat without giving it the VHF test. There are protocols on the VHF radio for how you communicate to other boats, and the Coast Guard. You want to be taken seriously (especially by the Coast Guard), but some boat owners seem to forget this. "Mayday, mayday, mayday........this is "High as a kite, High as a kite, High as a kite", over. Hmmm.........not sure I care whether you sink, dude.

There is also a tendency to name your boat using a word or term from another language............it sounds exotic, I guess, but this sets up a great comedy opportunity. Explaining to a German guy the colloquial meaning of "Eager Beaver" would be fun..................or just fabricating something to make the boat owner nervous..............."Sir, were you aware that "Summer Fun" is a common term for child pornography  in the US ?"

We chose the name "L'ORIENT" because it's where we honeymooned in St. Barths and it's colloquial meaning is "the place of dreams".........or at least that's what we were told..........hmm.