Check.........(please)
 |
| St. George - "prison with a view" in foreground |
Let's set up the scene; 5 people dining.............Clara (from Canada) is alone. She's married, but her man left Grenada early for home. We know her well and she's a close friend. Basil and Constance (from the UK) are there as well. We're meeting them for the first time (friends of Clara). Constance arrives first..........Basil a bit later. With Kirstin and I this makes 5.
As the drinks begin to flow, we order more. Nigel isn't there so the waiter asks me (being the only guy) if we want another round. "Sure" is my response. Constance turns to me and says "Thank you".........Hmmm. It's not like I'm squeezing the grapes or anything, but OK- Brits are notoriously polite so whatever.
Twenty minutes later, another round. Now Basil shows up and we're ready to order dinner. He's missed a few rounds but quickly catches up by ordering a bottle of wine. Basil and Constance are actually quite interesting, and the British accent definitely gives you another 20 IQ points. Clara from Canada is pretty plastered by now. Too bad, she has a 6:00 AM flight.
Kirstin and I decide it's time to go. It's already dark, it's raining, and we have to take the bus back to Prickly Bay, which we've never done at night. "Check please".
Now the fun begins. Constance suddenly becomes an accountant. Scrutinizing the bill, segregating items..........."That pizza was $2 more than my salad"............."I didn't order that drink". WTF ? You drank it though !!!!!
Then the whole thing began to make sense. In Constance's eyes, since her husband Basil wasn't there initially........for dining and paying purposes, I had been in the role of her surrogate husband. She believes that as long as SOME MAN........ANY MAN is there, she rides for free. Only when Basil arrived was I off the hook.
There are so many things wrong here, I don't know where to start. First of all, sweetheart, if I'm buying drinks for you then let me acquaint you with the job description for being in my harem. It's a substantial list and you might need to take notes and look a few things up. The bill was $630 EC (don't worry......that's like $250 for the whole table). Kirstin and I put in $340 EC, just to try to calm the situation. I abhor this kind of petty theft and I knew it was far more than we owed for our share.
Despite my generous contribution, Constance wouldn't quit. Finally I appealed to Basil directly. He had quite a buzz and was exercising little impact on his now ranting wife. "Basil, Kirstin and I already put more than half of the bill...........DO YOU THINK WE OWE MORE THAN THAT ?" This jolted Basil back to temporary sobriety. He took control of the situation and pretty much told Constance to shut up. In the end she meekly said "cruisers have to be frugal". I didn't hear the word "honest" anywhere in this ethic statement.
I left the restaurant with a sour taste in my mouth.........a shame since dinner and conversation had been great until then.